That's what will end me.

I relapsed
Went back to my history.
Today's tommorrow was just yesterdays today,
Which means everything always stays the same
I feed on pain,
but drink up happiness.
I'm waiting to burst but keep hoping I don't
Life isn't what I had hoped.
I can't forget the yesterdays,
That's what will end me.
Did I jump off the edge or was I pushed?
The answer which terrifies me.
I don't want to hide,
but it's the only thing I can do.
No longer breathing,
just grasping.
Someone remind me
Why I keep trying.

I don't think this makes any sense, and I am not as good as I used to be. ://
but i needed to write something.