I'd rather..

...have a life of  'oh wells' than a life of 'what ifs'.

So a couple things..

One; I don't need you to pretend you like me, chances are, I don't like you either.
Two; I never gave you permission to touch my shoulder or hug me, so don't.
Three; I don't care if it hurts your feelings, if I feel like something needs to be said, I will say it.
Four; If you are having a pity party, don't expect me to come.
Five; Please go tattle on me, funny thing is, I am nineteen and you look like an idiot.
Six; If you get your feelings hurt easily don't hang out with me.
Seven; If you can't take it, don't dish it.
Eight; I will not ever kiss your ass, ever.
Nine; Chances are you don't know me, so don't act like you do.
Ten; If you go around saying you're real, you aren't. People who are real don't have to say it all the time, just like I don't go around saying I have a vagina.
Eleven; If I call you stupid or an idiot and laugh after, don't take offense, you'll annoy me.
Twelve; Don't lie to me and then expect everything to be okay.
Thirteen; If my socks match, my day is going horrible.

The end.