dear friends.

I wish I could text all my friends and say, "From now on, I am going to be the kind of friend you have been to me. So if you call me; don't expect me to pick up the phone, drop everything, and run to your side, because every time that I have needed you, you have never done that for me. Don't expect me to send you texts giving you words of encouragement when you're mad at the world, or sad. Don't expect me to remind you how much you are loved, because you have never reminded me. Don't expect anything from me, because if I am treating you how you treat me, you won't get it. I will blow you off when we make plans, and when I am having a bad day I will take it out on you. I will choose every other person before you, because I guess that's what friendship means." That's what I wish I could say to my friends, because that's exactly how our friendship is. I am always there for them, but when I am crying and want to give up, when I look around, no one is ever here for me. And I hate it.